Wow. I was thinking about how crazy this year has been, and I remembered about that dream I had where a dark storm was coming. I looked at the date, and the date was before all the crazy stuff started this year.
Before that awful trip to Utah.
Before I watched my Grandfather die.
Before things got really bad with my family.
There was a dark storm coming, and it has been hard. Trials and hardships come now and again, but it seems like so much has happened in just a few months. And that third item is still an issue, and will most likely continue to be for some time.
At least it hasn't all been bad. I was called to be the Ward Executive Secretary, and for the first time I'm in a calling where I feel like I'm actually helping people, where I'm actually doing something.
I'm in the process of buying a home.
I have actually initiated some conversations with people. Well, this one is a far cry from where I want to be, but, it's a step, right?
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Colorado Vs. the Rain
Colorado lost.
We've had unusually-high rainfall these past few days, causing lots of water to be where you don't want it (including my basement), forcing people from their homes, destroying places like Jamestown and Lyons, and even killing a few people. It's crazy.
Yesterday I went with some other people from my ward to help people out. We helped move some stuff out of a family's crawl space-type basement that had flooded. There were also a lot of people helping out on one street where a ton of mud had piled up, They were shoveling the mud and removing things from people's homes.
Though maybe a bit selfish, I went to the Denver Gem and Mineral Show after that to look at some cool rocks, and buy a few for my collection (the really cheap stuff, not the awesome ones that were priced at several thousand dollars). The rain started to come down really hard there, making some really big puddles in the road. I was worried about my car getting stuck, but I got home safely.
So about my basement flooding: the day started off hopeful, planning on going out to eat with other people from my Singles Ward before going to the temple, in hopes to socialize. Of course I ended up just sitting there not actually talking to anyone. Everyone then left for the temple, leaving me behind as I scarfed down my food that had finally been served. Once I got to the temple, they told me the 8:15 session, which was the Singles session with chapel meeting, was full, which ended my chance of socializing that day. I came away from the endowment session feeling well though. When I got home, I noticed that there was an awful, damp, mildew-y smell. I looked in the basement and found the rugs and boxes wet. There was no standing water, and it was less than an inch high judging by the damage, but still, it was a pain. And the house still smells, although I don't seem to notice it right now with the scented candles burning.
But of course I had to make the day even harder. As I went to throw some empty cardboard boxes that were wet into the garage, the door closed behind me, and locked myself outside. Eventually I decided the only way in was through a window, so I tore apart a screen (couldn't pop it off) only to find that window locked. I popped off a screen on another window, but that was locked too. After tearing the screen on a third window I finally managed to climb inside.
We've had unusually-high rainfall these past few days, causing lots of water to be where you don't want it (including my basement), forcing people from their homes, destroying places like Jamestown and Lyons, and even killing a few people. It's crazy.
Yesterday I went with some other people from my ward to help people out. We helped move some stuff out of a family's crawl space-type basement that had flooded. There were also a lot of people helping out on one street where a ton of mud had piled up, They were shoveling the mud and removing things from people's homes.
Though maybe a bit selfish, I went to the Denver Gem and Mineral Show after that to look at some cool rocks, and buy a few for my collection (the really cheap stuff, not the awesome ones that were priced at several thousand dollars). The rain started to come down really hard there, making some really big puddles in the road. I was worried about my car getting stuck, but I got home safely.
So about my basement flooding: the day started off hopeful, planning on going out to eat with other people from my Singles Ward before going to the temple, in hopes to socialize. Of course I ended up just sitting there not actually talking to anyone. Everyone then left for the temple, leaving me behind as I scarfed down my food that had finally been served. Once I got to the temple, they told me the 8:15 session, which was the Singles session with chapel meeting, was full, which ended my chance of socializing that day. I came away from the endowment session feeling well though. When I got home, I noticed that there was an awful, damp, mildew-y smell. I looked in the basement and found the rugs and boxes wet. There was no standing water, and it was less than an inch high judging by the damage, but still, it was a pain. And the house still smells, although I don't seem to notice it right now with the scented candles burning.
But of course I had to make the day even harder. As I went to throw some empty cardboard boxes that were wet into the garage, the door closed behind me, and locked myself outside. Eventually I decided the only way in was through a window, so I tore apart a screen (couldn't pop it off) only to find that window locked. I popped off a screen on another window, but that was locked too. After tearing the screen on a third window I finally managed to climb inside.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Mind Vomit: Dating
It's about 10:40 at night right now, there are things I still need to do but I can't help but think about dating and such. If this post sounds like pointless ramblings it's probably because it is. I'm trying an experiment here: See if I can better understand my thoughts and feelings by putting them into words. This post will probably be more personal than others, but who cares? Hardly anyone reads this blog.
Today in Church (A singles ward) the high school graduates were invited to come as they were now of age to be in the ward. In sacrament meeting I realized that these graduating high school girls are ten years younger than me. I can't picture myself going on a date with someone that much younger. In addition to this, it seems like half the women in the ward are going on missions. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to see so many women serve missions, it's just that all of this...makes me feel that I have fewer chances of finding a future wife. An hour ago I found and read a bit on a blog about an anxious white virgin, which has not helped me find answers but more frustration of my situation.
But what does it matter, anyways? It's not like I go on dates. In my entire life I have gone on a total of two dates: The first because my brother twisted my arm, and the second because it was a ward activity where the who and where was all planned out.
For the past week or so, though, I've had the desire to go on a date (This itself is rare). Like, just going out with someone and grabbing ice cream or going somewhere fun. But that leads me to my next question, the one I have not been able to answer for the past 6 years: How does a loner get a date?
I thought it was kinda cool when I discovered a while back that there's a Wikipedia article that describes me very well. I am very much a loner. I rarely ever hang out with people. While I may have several "Facebook friends," none of them are people I would just call up and talk to, minus family. I have no problem spending my weekends alone. In fact there are times I just want to say "[Inappropriate word here] you, world! I don't need you!" I don't do well in groups of people (Which, unfortunately, are what all ward activities are); I usually end up wandering around like a lost child.
This does not, however, mean that I'm not lonely. When I went to Arizona I got my own apartment, because I thought I would love being alone in my own place. Turned out I was wrong. My Mom and siblings helped me move in, and as soon as they left, I found myself in horrible, painful loneliness. Thankfully I have since left that dark time and now live with my Grandpa and Aunt. I rarely actually talk to them, but the fact that there are people in the house I can go to if needed is comforting.
While I am unable to socialize in a large group, I am however capable of having a pleasant conversation with someone one-on-one, in the rare occasions that they occur. I do enjoy them, but I have difficulty making them happen. And while I am by no means a social butterfly (Like my brother Jared, who I admit I'm jealous of), I love to talk to family, and I think I would love to have my own.
So I come back to my previous question: How does a loner get a date? Before my mission I spent my time avoiding social interactions at all cost. Now I have to, through my own volition, start conversations with people. And somehow I have to ask a person on a date. But how? So far the only advice I've been given is "Just keep practicing." I'VE BEEN "PRACTICING" FOR SIX YEARS AND I AM NO CLOSER THAN WHEN I STARTED!!! HOW MUCH "PRACTICE" DO I NEED?!?!
Sorry about that, I'm just...frustrated. Maybe these social skills come naturally for some people. So natural, in fact, that they are unable to describe how they do it. I mean, ask someone on a date? Who? When? How? I don't know if I look socially awkward, but I definitely feel like I am! There was one time I actually had a golden opportunity to ask someone on a date, and I ended up spending something like half an hour freaking out over it before I actually made the call (She said no, by the way).
I feel like David and my Goliath is dating. I've been given a sling and a stone (The means to date), but I have no idea how to use it, and fear I'll just end up hitting myself with it if I tried.
I want to go on dates, I want to have a wife, I just...don't know what to do about it. It's been six years since I've started trying to obtain these lofty goals, and I'm no closer to obtaining them than when I started. The only thing I've got is to keep hoping in my Heavenly Father.
Experiment result: This has helped clear my mind a bit, but it has not helped my feelings of frustration.
Today in Church (A singles ward) the high school graduates were invited to come as they were now of age to be in the ward. In sacrament meeting I realized that these graduating high school girls are ten years younger than me. I can't picture myself going on a date with someone that much younger. In addition to this, it seems like half the women in the ward are going on missions. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to see so many women serve missions, it's just that all of this...makes me feel that I have fewer chances of finding a future wife. An hour ago I found and read a bit on a blog about an anxious white virgin, which has not helped me find answers but more frustration of my situation.
But what does it matter, anyways? It's not like I go on dates. In my entire life I have gone on a total of two dates: The first because my brother twisted my arm, and the second because it was a ward activity where the who and where was all planned out.
For the past week or so, though, I've had the desire to go on a date (This itself is rare). Like, just going out with someone and grabbing ice cream or going somewhere fun. But that leads me to my next question, the one I have not been able to answer for the past 6 years: How does a loner get a date?
I thought it was kinda cool when I discovered a while back that there's a Wikipedia article that describes me very well. I am very much a loner. I rarely ever hang out with people. While I may have several "Facebook friends," none of them are people I would just call up and talk to, minus family. I have no problem spending my weekends alone. In fact there are times I just want to say "[Inappropriate word here] you, world! I don't need you!" I don't do well in groups of people (Which, unfortunately, are what all ward activities are); I usually end up wandering around like a lost child.
This does not, however, mean that I'm not lonely. When I went to Arizona I got my own apartment, because I thought I would love being alone in my own place. Turned out I was wrong. My Mom and siblings helped me move in, and as soon as they left, I found myself in horrible, painful loneliness. Thankfully I have since left that dark time and now live with my Grandpa and Aunt. I rarely actually talk to them, but the fact that there are people in the house I can go to if needed is comforting.
While I am unable to socialize in a large group, I am however capable of having a pleasant conversation with someone one-on-one, in the rare occasions that they occur. I do enjoy them, but I have difficulty making them happen. And while I am by no means a social butterfly (Like my brother Jared, who I admit I'm jealous of), I love to talk to family, and I think I would love to have my own.
So I come back to my previous question: How does a loner get a date? Before my mission I spent my time avoiding social interactions at all cost. Now I have to, through my own volition, start conversations with people. And somehow I have to ask a person on a date. But how? So far the only advice I've been given is "Just keep practicing." I'VE BEEN "PRACTICING" FOR SIX YEARS AND I AM NO CLOSER THAN WHEN I STARTED!!! HOW MUCH "PRACTICE" DO I NEED?!?!
Sorry about that, I'm just...frustrated. Maybe these social skills come naturally for some people. So natural, in fact, that they are unable to describe how they do it. I mean, ask someone on a date? Who? When? How? I don't know if I look socially awkward, but I definitely feel like I am! There was one time I actually had a golden opportunity to ask someone on a date, and I ended up spending something like half an hour freaking out over it before I actually made the call (She said no, by the way).
I feel like David and my Goliath is dating. I've been given a sling and a stone (The means to date), but I have no idea how to use it, and fear I'll just end up hitting myself with it if I tried.
I want to go on dates, I want to have a wife, I just...don't know what to do about it. It's been six years since I've started trying to obtain these lofty goals, and I'm no closer to obtaining them than when I started. The only thing I've got is to keep hoping in my Heavenly Father.
Experiment result: This has helped clear my mind a bit, but it has not helped my feelings of frustration.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Dream Journal: 3/27 - 4/6/2013
3/27/2013
1. There was a new Starfox game for the SNES. I sat down and played it at some sort of doctor's waiting room full of toys. The level that I can remember was that we were trying to get to a planet, but the enemy had surrounded it with those moving blocks in space.
When I came back to play the game again, someone else was playing with the SNES but not with the new Starfox. I was sad.
2. I was at some sort of ward dance, but since I didn't want to dance I went into the dark, empty cultural hall to do stuff on my laptop. Except I wasn't alone, there were several others there with laptops.
3/28/2013
1. I was in some woman's kitchen (Maybe she was a space pirate and I was in a spaceship. Not sure) having dinner, but kitchen was ridiculously small. It was as big as a small, unfolding card table, and all four sides of the kitchen were counters (I have no idea how we even got in there as there were no doors). I bit into the dinner, which turned out to be a whole raw chicken. I offered to cook it for her, but first I had to clear the massive pile of dirty dishes off of the counter, including the pan that had a partially eaten whole chicken in it, with only the outside cooked.
2. I was playing video games with someone. I don't think I ever looked at her. It was a dot on the screen, and you had to move it around to collect 100 other dots (Or were they Sonic rings?) on the screen within one minute. The interesting thing was that it was controlled by an SNES controller, but used as a motion controller. She handed me the controller to try a level. I did all right but I didn't get all of them. After that level ended it became Kirby Super Star and I handed the controller back to her.
My sister Rachel then came to me and asked if she could put her wet bathing suit on the chair. I told her no and to put it in the washing machine. As the female was playing the Kirby game, the music that was playing was "Bound for the Promised Land," and I mentioned how it was in the top five of my most listened songs.
It seems that if my mind is going to use something for a dream, it often uses my oldest memory of it.
3/30/2013
It was a long dream, but the farthest back I can remember was that I was with a bunch of guys, all probably in their twenties, playing football. Actually I don't think we were actually playing football, but standing around. I think there were two groups, I was with a small one, and we were with a larger group. One of the guys from my group was wearing a shirt that said Brigham Young University, but when he noticed that, he took his shirt off, flipped it inside out, and put it back back on. "Whew! Don't want them to know I'm from BYU!" I think we were there in secret, and we would be in big trouble if we were discovered.
Later the football was then stolen by someone who drove away, and everyone got on their bicycles to chase after him. The car was going slow enough, or the cyclists were going fast enough, to go at the same speed. They chased him all day, even though they had been awake for a while. The night came and they still chased him. It became so dark that the cyclists or driver couldn't see each other, but somehow they followed him. They decided to keep quiet at night, and thus they did the whole night. When morning came they still chased him, and now they were going through a really rich neighborhood.
I was now alone in this neighborhood, so I slowly rode my bike out of it. I went past several huge swimming pools, fountains, palm trees, and homes. When I got out I tried asking random people I came across if they saw a large group of bicyclists come by moving pretty fast, but no one saw them. I biked up a hill on a sidewalk, with the road to my right and a chain-link fence to my left blocking off an empty, grassy field. It was a steep hill, so I was breathing heavily and grunting as I biked past people walking by. I must have doubled back somewhere because I think I went up this hill twice.
I was later at a college campus I think, and I looked at my pedometer to say I've traveled only three miles. I was angry to think that was it since I had been biking since yesterday.
At some point my front wheel and handlebars were stolen. There was a girl who had some extra bike parts attached to her bike, so I chased how down. I felt bad though that I had to confront her because she was my friend. Because she was my friend she stopped to show that the parts weren't mine. She and her family then biked on. I went to a bike rack with a bunch of bikes locked up there to see if my parts were there. The girl I stopped earlier, and her brother, came to help. I asked them to check all the bicycles to see if my parts were locked up with any of them. I climbed and walked on top of the bicycles and the red, brick walls that the bikes were locked up against. Somehow this then transitioned into us looking in my bedroom, which was more like a loft in a barn. We didn't find it.
I was then at Channel Islands Beach, trying to figure out how I'm going to get home with a useless bike. I thought about calling my dad to give me a ride home.
3/31/2013
1. I'm having trouble remembering this dream, which is why this explanation will seem like it jumps around a lot and lacking detail.
I was once again serving a mission in Kansas. My mission companion was trying to decide whether to go home or commit suicide. We lived with a few other missionaries, one of them being a very tall black man. A man knocked on our door and asked for his son, to which the tall missionary placed the man's son on my back; apparently they were baby-sitting him. I asked the missionaries when p-day was because they changed it before I left, and they said we can take p-day whenever we want, within reason.
2. I was walking in a cave with someone and walked by someone laying down. I gave him a paper and asked if he could read it, to which he said, "Sure, I'd love to read this, but if you haven't noticed I'M BEING CRUSHED BY A BOULDER HERE!" The man was pinned between the cave floor and a rock the same size as him. I then activated the Intersect and grabbed some brown, gold, and red-colored rocks and started throwing them at the man I was walking with, who then grabbed them and threw them into a pile that was down a slope beyond the man under the boulder. There was now another man who I also threw rocks to. Occasionally when I tried throwing a rock at the man I was with, my hand suddenly moved on its own to throw it to the other man. Occasionally the other man would throw a rock at the boulder that was pinning the man, to which I then came to him and said "No, that's not going to help him."
There were then a whole bunch of people and we were all grabbing rocks and throwing them into the pile, which has become quite large. When I decided to stop, everyone decided to have one more go and we took a bunch of the rocks from the pile and carried them back up the slope, putting them into some sort of machine that then ground the rocks into different resources. When we decided to stop, everyone was happy and said that it was fun.
I don't know what happened to the man trapped under the boulder.
4/1/2013
1. I was in my car, but the car was being driven by my former mission companion Elder Steele. We were driving up steep hills in the mountains and he was driving kind of fast so I told him to slow down. We ended up in some small town and Steele got out or something because I was left to myself. I then had to find a way out even though I had no idea where I was.
2. I was alone on a small asteroid floating through space. There was a nearby asteroid so I threw a fake person at it, but the fake person's body violently decompressed in space, then went through the other asteroid as if it were just a hologram. Suddenly there's another person there with me and we go to the side of the asteroid to show me a giant book that I never realized was there. The book mentioned an entrance into the ship, so we went to the bottom of the asteroid to find a door into the spaceship that was lodged in the asteroid. We got in, and then suddenly a bunch of people got in as well. Some electricity sparked and the other man said "Don't you think there's too many people in here?" Some got out, and then we launched the ship out of the asteroid.
We came to Earth, but now the space ship was a glider and with me were Gollum, the Avatar Ang and his friends. The Earth is an apocalyptic wasteland, covered in snow and ice; Giant sheets of ice and frozen tidal waves.
Then I'm a fairy or something holding on to a car with a stick while someone tries to drive the car in all the ice. The Earth is a wasteland but there's still plenty of people living on it. Once the car spun on the ice and I tried to stop the car before it crashed into another one. I pulled the car back, but then the other car went nuts and tried crashing into everything.
We made it to a town that one person lived in. Ang mentioned he wanted to go find his home and his pet Momo. Some of the town's people thought bending was a myth, but one of Ang's friends said something to the effect of "With Ang's help my gang doubled in size. When some crazy monk comes and does stuff, you believe him." One of the guys gave me a key to their home for me to stay at as well as a phone. I moved in and sat in the dark, lonely home watching TV. I kept checking the phone hoping that someone was going to call me. Once some raiding gang came by from behind the house, destroying things with their cars and taking stuff. One person said, "Hey, there's someone in that house. Let's teach her a lesson!" I prayed they wouldn't come in, and they never did. There was then a knock on the door: He wanted in even though I locked the door. He then said "This is crazy, I'm calling Mike." and started calling someone. I let him in and the man said "This is my home, get out." "But...I've got nowhere to go." "Oh, boo hoo! Everyone has it rough, now get it out!"
4/4/2013
1. I was in some sort of competition with two other boys, where we had to build something big that had something to do with space. We met in a huge, expensive, beautiful mansion full of different gardens. Everyone came dressed up, but I didn't know we had to so I came in my pajamas. There were lots of people there, and some people stood up to sit on the stands, including my father who was something like royalty. I could have come up, but my father was too ashamed of me to invite me up.
I was trying to help out one of the boys I was competing against by helping him set down a big heavy object, but all of the little kids around ended up sabotaging him by bending the equipment and painting on a bunch of stuff.
2. I was a computer programmer who came to help out with something. There was a large room with a bunch of robots on the ceiling working with the several control panels. The owner got a new robot that could control everything so they didn't need so many robots. They brought in the new robot, and all the other robots dropped to the ground like they were in pain, but then calmly stood up. All of the robots had one of their eyes turned red, showing that they were being controlled by the new robot. Once they left, the robot tried taking over my mind because I had cybernetic parts in my brain. I shouted at the robot to get out of my head. For some reason at this time a bunch of crystals were coming out of my body, like I was turning into a giant crystal.
4/6/2013
1. I was meeting my friend in a large empty parking lot, but his family got their first. He parents were whipping and beating him but for some reason leaving me alone. I figured it would be best if I left and called the cops, but his parents instead called the cops on me. I drove my car to keep them from escaping, but they got away and the police came after me.
2. Shawn and Gus went to take part in a dog fighting competition. Gus came and joined a team, but Shawn was late and denied access. Now being Shawn, I disguised myself as a frog and went to the manager to to get into the competition. The manager was some sort of short, frog-like creature, and he wasn't buying my disguise. He then decided to go with it and show me how to walk like a frog: Full of pomp and smug. He then went into his office and came out with a leash, which was some sort of purple, misty glob but was solid when pulled on. He then walked towards a big, mean looking dog, and then picked up the little puppy behind it. The frog man got the best of me.
Friday, April 5, 2013
The Peace of the Temple
For those of you who do not know what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saint's temples are, I first direct you to here. Good? Okay, let's move on.
The Denver temple (Pictured above) is a little over an hour's drive from where I live, but from work it's only about ten minutes. Because of this I try to attend the temple, at the very least, once a month, if not more.
I go because the temple is a place where I can perform saving ordinances in proxy for those who have passed on, and it's a place where I can feel great peace.
I'm far from perfect at this, though. In fact, I'm ashamed to say that many times I've been in an endowment session where I wish it would hurry up and end so I can go home (While most ordinances can be completed in a minute, the endowment takes something like an hour). Granted, since coming straight from work I'm tired and hungry by this point, but that's not an excuse.
However, without fail, every time I enter the Celestial room, all those cares are gone. I feel complete peace and calmness. Not the cry-at-the-podium-during-testimony-meeting kind of feeling, but a simple, complete peace. A peace that I can't find anywhere else. While I may have wanted to go home and rest just a few minutes ago, in the Celestial room I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave behind that peace and go back to the world.
Like the name implies, the Celestial room is a representation of the Celestial Kingdom, the place wherein Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ resides. In other words: Heaven. Except it's more than just a representation. The Temples are built and dedicated as Houses of the Lord, and thus it is the closest you can get to Heaven on this Earth.
If you're a member I invite you to go. If you're not a member I invite you to become one, and enjoy the peace the Temple can offer.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Dream Journal: 3/19 to 3/24
3/19/2013
There was a crazy old man who ordered spider bread. His butler then grabbed a giant wad of spider web, heat it up, and it turned into bread.
3/21/2013
I was a young boy traveling with his mother. I think we were Muslim in a third-world country. There was a muddy area we stopped to pray around a bunch of other people. My mom sat up earlier than I thought she should from praying, but she said "These aren't the men that hurt us." I was later at a hospital or something, my mom elsewhere. A card with an abstract painting of a mother was slid under the door, and I took off running fearing it was a bomb; it was. I assumed my mom was dead.
I came to an area that a bunch of people were abandoning. There was a woman wearing a mask around her mouth, like sick people do. She was leaving her apartment, so I stayed there and hid myself under a pile of laundry. Later a stray dog walked by, and said something to me. I got up, too weak to barely stand, and only telling the dog I need water. We went to the refrigerator, but then hid myself when I heard people arguing loudly outside the apartment door, the talking dog hiding with me.
3/23/2013
1. It was the characters from the show Chuck, and they found a serum version of the Intersect that was copied from someone. They asked if it was based off of Chuck, or Sarah, or Jasmine (Princess Jasmine?). The serum was labled "C."
2. An alien, who looked like an older, balding Asian dude, invaded Earth. He was doing bad things, but he politely asked me several questions about the church. I can't remember now what questions he asked me or what my answers were, but I think I gave really good answers.
3/24/2013
It was like I was at work, but not. The people weren't anyone I know and the office looked a bit different. There were also several large windows that allowed us to see outside more. I think we might have been even higher up than the 8th floor because we could see a lot of the area around us. It wasn't Denver, either, but some sort of coastal city.
A bunch of other people in the office then pointed outside towards the city: there was a massive, dark storm could coming; a cloud that extended from the sky to the ground.
Dreams like this make me wonder if dreams have meaning.
There was a crazy old man who ordered spider bread. His butler then grabbed a giant wad of spider web, heat it up, and it turned into bread.
3/21/2013
I was a young boy traveling with his mother. I think we were Muslim in a third-world country. There was a muddy area we stopped to pray around a bunch of other people. My mom sat up earlier than I thought she should from praying, but she said "These aren't the men that hurt us." I was later at a hospital or something, my mom elsewhere. A card with an abstract painting of a mother was slid under the door, and I took off running fearing it was a bomb; it was. I assumed my mom was dead.
I came to an area that a bunch of people were abandoning. There was a woman wearing a mask around her mouth, like sick people do. She was leaving her apartment, so I stayed there and hid myself under a pile of laundry. Later a stray dog walked by, and said something to me. I got up, too weak to barely stand, and only telling the dog I need water. We went to the refrigerator, but then hid myself when I heard people arguing loudly outside the apartment door, the talking dog hiding with me.
3/23/2013
1. It was the characters from the show Chuck, and they found a serum version of the Intersect that was copied from someone. They asked if it was based off of Chuck, or Sarah, or Jasmine (Princess Jasmine?). The serum was labled "C."
2. An alien, who looked like an older, balding Asian dude, invaded Earth. He was doing bad things, but he politely asked me several questions about the church. I can't remember now what questions he asked me or what my answers were, but I think I gave really good answers.
3/24/2013
It was like I was at work, but not. The people weren't anyone I know and the office looked a bit different. There were also several large windows that allowed us to see outside more. I think we might have been even higher up than the 8th floor because we could see a lot of the area around us. It wasn't Denver, either, but some sort of coastal city.
A bunch of other people in the office then pointed outside towards the city: there was a massive, dark storm could coming; a cloud that extended from the sky to the ground.
Dreams like this make me wonder if dreams have meaning.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Awkward Programmer Talk
There are words that are used in the world of computer programming that, in a different context, have different meanings. As such, I've thought of how a programmer could have a discussion over the phone around strangers, like at a bus stop, and how that conversation would have the strangers thinking very different things. This would be best as a candid video, so if anyone wants to make it, feel free!
A man sits at a bus stop with three other people. His phone rings, and the strangers can only hear the man's side of the conversation.
"Hello."
"What do you mean the children are...misbehaving?"
"Have you tried issuing any commands?"
"Well if they're not listening then they must be orphans."
"Well just kill them, then."
"Yeah, we won't loose anything important. We can start over and see if the next set of children will listen."
"All right, see you soon honey. Bye."
Same scene, different conversation:
"Hello."
"Well it's okay if some of the slaves aren't working. I mean, that's the point of having a bunch of slaves."
"NONE of them are working? Is the master doing anything? They were working last night."
"You know what, I bet they were overloaded. Well, we're not at whip yet, so I'll try to take care of it when I get there."
"Oh wait, that's right! Our client is coming to see our work, and it won't look good if the slaves aren't working."
"Well just kill them then. Yeah, kill them all. The new batch of slaves should work for at least a few hours. That's plenty of time for the client to see things working."
"All right, I'll see you in a bit. Bye."
Explanations
Children: In data structures, a child is a node that is linked to the parent. There's also child processes and child threads.
Orphan: If the parent has lost its connection to a child, then the child is called an orphan and can't be reached by the program.
Kill: Kill, as in end or stop the execution of a program or process.
Master/Slave: A form of communication, where the master is a single process that communicates with several other processes, or slaves. This can be used as a form of redundancy, as several slaves can be working on the same thing, and if one slave crashes then the system can keep going because it still has the other slaves.
Whip: This is actually WIP, or Work In Process, but it's pronounced the same as whip. At work we use a kanban board that has WIP limits, or in other words, a limit on how many things we can work on at once.
A man sits at a bus stop with three other people. His phone rings, and the strangers can only hear the man's side of the conversation.
"Hello."
"What do you mean the children are...misbehaving?"
"Have you tried issuing any commands?"
"Well if they're not listening then they must be orphans."
"Well just kill them, then."
"Yeah, we won't loose anything important. We can start over and see if the next set of children will listen."
"All right, see you soon honey. Bye."
Same scene, different conversation:
"Hello."
"Well it's okay if some of the slaves aren't working. I mean, that's the point of having a bunch of slaves."
"NONE of them are working? Is the master doing anything? They were working last night."
"You know what, I bet they were overloaded. Well, we're not at whip yet, so I'll try to take care of it when I get there."
"Oh wait, that's right! Our client is coming to see our work, and it won't look good if the slaves aren't working."
"Well just kill them then. Yeah, kill them all. The new batch of slaves should work for at least a few hours. That's plenty of time for the client to see things working."
"All right, I'll see you in a bit. Bye."
Explanations
Children: In data structures, a child is a node that is linked to the parent. There's also child processes and child threads.
Orphan: If the parent has lost its connection to a child, then the child is called an orphan and can't be reached by the program.
Kill: Kill, as in end or stop the execution of a program or process.
Master/Slave: A form of communication, where the master is a single process that communicates with several other processes, or slaves. This can be used as a form of redundancy, as several slaves can be working on the same thing, and if one slave crashes then the system can keep going because it still has the other slaves.
Whip: This is actually WIP, or Work In Process, but it's pronounced the same as whip. At work we use a kanban board that has WIP limits, or in other words, a limit on how many things we can work on at once.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Dream Journal: 3/5/2013 to 3/16/2013
3/5/2013
There was a yellow, blobby man-like thing walking in a multi-level parking lot, while a demon-like, ethereal entity followed him. The demon would appear and disappear, be static-y like a TV, and try to break itself from its dimension (Like the face that appears here and there in the last level of Psychonauts). It had the atmosphere of a horror film (For some reason Dead Space comes to mind, even though I've never played it), but again it wasn't scary. The man walked on, never realizing the demon was following him, trying to get him. The blobby man got to his car, then squuezed his hand to pop out a finger like you would with a balloon. He opened the car door and the dream ended.
3/6/2013
1. I was at a cabin at Bea lake. Not Bear, Bea; though we pronounced it Bear. Can't remember the rest. There was also the next dream, but I think this one transitioned into it somehow.
2. For some reason a bunch of chocolate companies were giving us their chocolate and money. There was an M&M's crunchy chocolate bar and a Dr. Pepper chocolate ice cream bar. We covered an electrical outlet with chocolate, which was in our warehouse that we used to store the chocolate. We hired a lawyer to help us start up a buisness, but he didn't like the idea of a bunch of companies giving us money. One of the guys (There were two other people with me; didn't know any of them) mentioned about already loosing two lawyers, and the other told him "Shh! Don't tell him that!". The lawyer asked where the money was and we said it's safe back at the warehouse.
We went to the warehouse, all the while I figured it was being stolen but I didn't care. We opened the door to the small box, and found it missing. A truck drove off and they chased after it. I went up the hill to the road and saw a car with a lady in it smiling. I stared at her and said out loud "Now why are you smiling?"
3/11/2013
I was back in my old home in Oxnard. So old in fact it was the version before we remodeled our home. I was in the family room in front of the house, and some people in a truck were driving by with squirt guns. I decided to join in on the fun and shouted at everyone in the room to get down when they drove by again. They threw a water balloon or something, but I was surprised to find out that it was so much water that a bunch of water splashed my back, even though I was inside the house.
3/12/2013
It was a video much like GameTrailers' PopFiction. Words in qoutes are what the narrator said. "Many people have been having dreams about a hidden Fox boss in Final Fantasy XII, so we're here to find out if it exists." The character Cloud is on some sort of world map. He then flew under something to enter a part of the map that wasn't supposed to be accessed. Cloud walks on a small island on the corner edge of the map (It's the edge because there's nothing but black beyond it) and then encounters the hidden boss, a crude, polygonal, brown fox. "Wow! It's exactly as people described! This is amazing!"
Something interesting is that apparently each monster Cloud fought were a representation of his fears, and this Fox monster was "Fear of Lust."
3/14/2013
1. I had a toy car that turned into a huge treehouse-and-stuff playset. I sat there wondreing how all that could have come out of that toy car.
2. Some people were selling antiques, and I noticed them selling a yellow jar, one that looked just like Grandpa's sugar jar. I think they were stealing stuff from people's homes and then selling them. Around this time though I got three miniature, antique pots from Quay and kept them in my pant pocket. Keeping them in there were getting them banged up though as I walked around, especially the one that was made of sandstone.
3. I woke up, and not wanting to forget the dream I just had, took out from my pant pocket a miniature antique pot and set it on the couch to remind me. Except this too was a dream, and it didn't help.
3/16/2013
1. I was driving down a coastal highway. I then reached a town that, from the entrance, looked like dark storm clouds were completely covering the town, with only the entrance from the road that kinda looked liked the entrance to a cave. Once inside though I could see that it was actually a large canopy of a black cloth mesh. White Christmas lights hung from the canopy to provide light to the town.
2. I was walking in some sort of fantasy world. A grassy pathway with occasional stone-laid, circle-shaped town centers with a fountain in the middle. There were green mountains to the left and a misty, bottomless canyon to the right. Unfortunately I was a giant and the pathway was swarming with moving mushroomas, plants, and people. It was impossible for me to walk along without stepping on someone or something. Once I made it to the end of the pathway (Nothing but the bottomless pit was beyond it) there was some sort of teleportation gateway. Suddenly I was no longer walking in this world, but looking down at it through a tablet device.
For some reason a pirate was also looking at it with me. Some targets appeard on the screen, so both I and the pirate started tapping at the targets. The screen then went back the way I came from the path and we tapped at targets along the way. Occasionally treasure appeared and we grabbed them by tapping on it (It's a tablet, how else would you get it?). The pirate was very kind and considerate about letting me grab the treasure.
3. I was in a video game that had the graphics style of Minecraft, but was littered with things like Katamari. There were these flying things that chased me and I had to run away from them or they'd "get me." And I had to run as fast as I could because they were really fast.
I could interact with some of the people in the world. In one instance (I can't remember the other one) I gave a kid some watermelon. I think the kid said something to the effect of "Really? I can have watermelon? My dad says I can't have any." He eats the watermelon, but then falls down like he's sick, and a bunch of somethings swarmed on him.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Previous Dreams
I've occasionally posted dreams I had on Facebook, so I went through everything I posted on Facebook and added them to my dream journal.
5/14/2008
Dreamed that I was running away from a firey Onix.
5/9/2009
Dreamed that all the church buildings had an interconnected railway system.
11/16/2009
Ran for my life from Big Bird in the Spencer W. Kimball Tower.
1/6/2012
I think it was Transformers 4, where the government produced a gas that made everyone see the world as a better place than it actually was, and Bumblebee was defending the headquarters of the Spy Kids.
6/14/2012
My dad said "Come here. You should really read this book." He then hands me a book titled "Freefall." The cover had the grim reaper on it brandishing his sycth, and an unlocked shackle next to the name. It was about a man who became the grim reaper and fought evil.
Does it mean something? Or was it just because I see an image of Ghost Rider on my monitor at work?
9/28/2012
It was a Zelda-like game, and the main character went to a shop and looked at the items. The salesman then said "Giant Sausage in the Shape of a Man: That's a good item! Not only is it a giant sausage in the shape of a man, but it also has life-sustaining properties, and it transforms into a giant robot!" Next scene is a giant robot (Which, now that I think about it, looked much like Larry from Time Squad) moving on a stage much like Goemon Impact! But unlike Goemon Impact, it had rockets on its skates, and it moved down the stage really fast, plowing down anyone and anything that stood in its way. It moved so fast it then skated across the ocean. I think it may have started to fly, but the dream ended after that.
Giant Sausage in the Shape of a Man that transforms into a giant robot! I love my dreams!
9/29/2012
I was in my car, but for some reason my brother Tim was driving it. He switched the car's gear into H1 and the car started flying. Not Jet plane flying, more like slow hover car flying. We flew around a bit, but for some reason I went out of the car and fell sideways, as if gravity was parallel to the ground. Then I realized "Wait, this isn't how gravity works" and then I stood on the ground like normal.
1/11/2013
I had a dog, and I asked him to stand guard in front of the house in the snow to protect us from the wandering T-Rex. But then he couldn't get back in the house when it turned invisible.
2/1/2013
North Korea nuked the U.S. For some reason brentalfloss was driving me to work, and Denver was full of still images of mushroom clouds and fire.
Me: "Um...is the city supposed to be fire?"
brentalfloss: "Huh. Actually, you're right. It shouldn't be."
I then took refuge with some family. I think we then headed out somewhere but I don't remember the rest.
Interestingly, I wasn't scared or worried at all.
5/14/2008
Dreamed that I was running away from a firey Onix.
5/9/2009
Dreamed that all the church buildings had an interconnected railway system.
11/16/2009
Ran for my life from Big Bird in the Spencer W. Kimball Tower.
1/6/2012
I think it was Transformers 4, where the government produced a gas that made everyone see the world as a better place than it actually was, and Bumblebee was defending the headquarters of the Spy Kids.
6/14/2012
My dad said "Come here. You should really read this book." He then hands me a book titled "Freefall." The cover had the grim reaper on it brandishing his sycth, and an unlocked shackle next to the name. It was about a man who became the grim reaper and fought evil.
Does it mean something? Or was it just because I see an image of Ghost Rider on my monitor at work?
9/28/2012
It was a Zelda-like game, and the main character went to a shop and looked at the items. The salesman then said "Giant Sausage in the Shape of a Man: That's a good item! Not only is it a giant sausage in the shape of a man, but it also has life-sustaining properties, and it transforms into a giant robot!" Next scene is a giant robot (Which, now that I think about it, looked much like Larry from Time Squad) moving on a stage much like Goemon Impact! But unlike Goemon Impact, it had rockets on its skates, and it moved down the stage really fast, plowing down anyone and anything that stood in its way. It moved so fast it then skated across the ocean. I think it may have started to fly, but the dream ended after that.
Giant Sausage in the Shape of a Man that transforms into a giant robot! I love my dreams!
9/29/2012
I was in my car, but for some reason my brother Tim was driving it. He switched the car's gear into H1 and the car started flying. Not Jet plane flying, more like slow hover car flying. We flew around a bit, but for some reason I went out of the car and fell sideways, as if gravity was parallel to the ground. Then I realized "Wait, this isn't how gravity works" and then I stood on the ground like normal.
1/11/2013
I had a dog, and I asked him to stand guard in front of the house in the snow to protect us from the wandering T-Rex. But then he couldn't get back in the house when it turned invisible.
2/1/2013
North Korea nuked the U.S. For some reason brentalfloss was driving me to work, and Denver was full of still images of mushroom clouds and fire.
Me: "Um...is the city supposed to be fire?"
brentalfloss: "Huh. Actually, you're right. It shouldn't be."
I then took refuge with some family. I think we then headed out somewhere but I don't remember the rest.
Interestingly, I wasn't scared or worried at all.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Dream Journal: 2/24 to 2/27
2/24/2013
I was trying to find a movie on OnDemand, but only found a chick flick. I streamed a movie on the Internet, but it was a chick flick. And for some reason the video player made sound effects from Zelda: A Link to the Past.
2/25/2013
1. I was an empty, glass Coke bottle, rolling on the front lawn and sidewalk of our home in Oxnard. I'm a human again and I'm given a note saying I have to get something for them or they'll hurt someone I care about. I get the rock they're after that for some reason has computer data in it. I'm then given another note saying that if I don't figure out the data, they'll kill authors I hate. I find out that Pinkie Pie has been gone at the fair for too long, so I go looking for her fearing that they're going to hurt her.
2. Dad and I were in the hallway of our home in Oxnard, arguing about how old we were when the family moved to CO.
2/27/2013
I entered the evil lair, where the bad guy and his monster minion were waiting for me. It was a dark room, with a square pit in the center with lava at the bottom, and swords lined the edge of the pit as a fence. The minion dropped bombs into the pit that sprayed up lava towards me. Then bones came up from the ground and I had to break them before they became monsters and attacked me. Boulders also came up from the ground to roll at me. Then there were dogs, but for some reason I unknowingly tamed some of them and they became my pets. I then climbed a hill on an island to find an Inn, where some villagers greeted me.
I guess that's what happens when you read, play, and watch video games just before bed.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Dream Journal - 2/14/2013 to 2/23/2013
I often have dreams. I often remember my dreams. So I decided to record my dreams, otherwise I'll forget them. I've actually been more diligent at writing in my dream journal than my normal journal.
2/14/2013
1. A bunch of Pokemon gathered together in a rectangular formation. They used a water attack to propel them forward on a wave. A few Pokemon in the formation were left behind though as they were fire types, who then rolled around in pain from the water while creating a wave of fire.
2. Can't quite remember this one. Something about a farm village-like place, with chickens, cat people, there was a war or something. There was a ward that was then split up when one of the lands gained victory in the war.
2/16/2013
Dreamed that criminals, for their crimes, were turned into trees. At the end of the dream, someone said "We do not at this time know how to turn criminals into trees."
2/19/2013
Had a dream that could easily be a horror movie. That doesn't happen very often.
A group went to the moon on a spherical space shuttle. There was a tent on the moon that for some reason didn't leak air. There were creatures in the shadows, working in swarms. These dark creatures would violently kill their prey, rip off their skulls, and wear them on their own heads. By taking their preys' skulls and putting them on their own heads they then quickly evolved into them.
The surviving crew then threw the spaceship onto a track and rolled it away, very much like that level in Super Mario Galaxy where Mario rolls a ball around. Their ship goes back to earth, burning in the atmosphere to kill any creatures that may have clung aboard. They thought they made it back safely, but soon the creatures were popping up around cities, mostly in their evolved human-like form. After killing more and taking more skulls, they even started talking. By the end, the super soldier serum (The one that created Captain America) was perfected, which gave the rest of the human population a fighting chance.
2/20/2013
Me, my family, and Seth L. went home from church. We stopped by sister Beck's home and talked. As we were about to leave I messed with their faucet, and she got upset that I was about to leave without putting the heat setting back where it was. Mom and the family left us, and I put the faucet's temperature setting back to where it was. Since the family left Seth and I, we walked home. Seth became a dog and started running, while I just slid along the ice-covered sidewalk. It was almost completely dark (Save for an occasional car's headlights) and we were in the west end of my neighborhood back in Oxnard. Eventually Seth ran ahead of me and I got on my bike (Which came from nowhere) and I put a strobe light on my belt so others would see me in the dark. I later made it home, my home in Oxnard, and found Seth banging on the door. He told me "The kids are awake but no one is opening the door." Because of my strobe light mom later came, in her night gown, to let us in.
2/22/2013
1. There was a board with different colored areas, and different colored papers that laid on it. The papers were then folded. The papers represented different government agencies or political parties, the board represented different areas or nations or political parties. Since the papers folded the different government agencies or political parties into different areas or nations or political parties, they came to me to help figure and sort things out, because for some reason I was the expert.
2. I was Robin, flying with Batman in the Batwing. We spotted some prison escapees on a rusted metal platform with cranes and crates by a dock, running towards an entrance to a Joker hideout. I jumped down and started fighting them all. They were highly acrobatic, and kept going no matter how much a beat them up. They also had a skateboard where instead of the board being horizontal with the ground, was vertical. One girl said "Just chill, dude!" and I said "We just found you trying to get into a Joker hideout, and you want us to chill?" Eventually they ran away. One guy went underwater to enter the hideout, with a jet ski following him, and I threw a bomb or something underwater at him. The girl was left behind and she was calming down. I said "Fine, you want me to chill out? I'm chill."
2/23/2013
I definitely had some dreams, but I can't recall them enough to bother mentioning.
2/14/2013
1. A bunch of Pokemon gathered together in a rectangular formation. They used a water attack to propel them forward on a wave. A few Pokemon in the formation were left behind though as they were fire types, who then rolled around in pain from the water while creating a wave of fire.
2. Can't quite remember this one. Something about a farm village-like place, with chickens, cat people, there was a war or something. There was a ward that was then split up when one of the lands gained victory in the war.
2/16/2013
Dreamed that criminals, for their crimes, were turned into trees. At the end of the dream, someone said "We do not at this time know how to turn criminals into trees."
2/19/2013
Had a dream that could easily be a horror movie. That doesn't happen very often.
A group went to the moon on a spherical space shuttle. There was a tent on the moon that for some reason didn't leak air. There were creatures in the shadows, working in swarms. These dark creatures would violently kill their prey, rip off their skulls, and wear them on their own heads. By taking their preys' skulls and putting them on their own heads they then quickly evolved into them.
The surviving crew then threw the spaceship onto a track and rolled it away, very much like that level in Super Mario Galaxy where Mario rolls a ball around. Their ship goes back to earth, burning in the atmosphere to kill any creatures that may have clung aboard. They thought they made it back safely, but soon the creatures were popping up around cities, mostly in their evolved human-like form. After killing more and taking more skulls, they even started talking. By the end, the super soldier serum (The one that created Captain America) was perfected, which gave the rest of the human population a fighting chance.
2/20/2013
Me, my family, and Seth L. went home from church. We stopped by sister Beck's home and talked. As we were about to leave I messed with their faucet, and she got upset that I was about to leave without putting the heat setting back where it was. Mom and the family left us, and I put the faucet's temperature setting back to where it was. Since the family left Seth and I, we walked home. Seth became a dog and started running, while I just slid along the ice-covered sidewalk. It was almost completely dark (Save for an occasional car's headlights) and we were in the west end of my neighborhood back in Oxnard. Eventually Seth ran ahead of me and I got on my bike (Which came from nowhere) and I put a strobe light on my belt so others would see me in the dark. I later made it home, my home in Oxnard, and found Seth banging on the door. He told me "The kids are awake but no one is opening the door." Because of my strobe light mom later came, in her night gown, to let us in.
2/22/2013
1. There was a board with different colored areas, and different colored papers that laid on it. The papers were then folded. The papers represented different government agencies or political parties, the board represented different areas or nations or political parties. Since the papers folded the different government agencies or political parties into different areas or nations or political parties, they came to me to help figure and sort things out, because for some reason I was the expert.
2. I was Robin, flying with Batman in the Batwing. We spotted some prison escapees on a rusted metal platform with cranes and crates by a dock, running towards an entrance to a Joker hideout. I jumped down and started fighting them all. They were highly acrobatic, and kept going no matter how much a beat them up. They also had a skateboard where instead of the board being horizontal with the ground, was vertical. One girl said "Just chill, dude!" and I said "We just found you trying to get into a Joker hideout, and you want us to chill?" Eventually they ran away. One guy went underwater to enter the hideout, with a jet ski following him, and I threw a bomb or something underwater at him. The girl was left behind and she was calming down. I said "Fine, you want me to chill out? I'm chill."
2/23/2013
I definitely had some dreams, but I can't recall them enough to bother mentioning.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Which is Better to Work for? A Big or Small Company?
The short answer: A small company.
The longer, more detailed answer: When I finally left college and looked to get a real job, I got my first job at DISH. You know, the satellite TV company. And not just any DISH office, it was their headquarters, so there were a lot of people there. My team alone was something like thirty people.
So, why did I not like working there? Well, I'll tell you. Just keep in mind that this is one man's experience, and I certainly don't speak for DISH.
1. You need permission to do anything. Want to access the Internet? Get permission. Want to have admin access on your own computer? Get permission. Want to download software that you need in order to even do your job? Get permission. And I'm not talking, "Hey boss man, can I do this?" No, I'm talking a formal request form that you have to wait and hear back from the higher ups. It took me about a month just to be "set up."
2. Cubicles. I didn't know it at the time, but I don't like cubicles. You're closed off from the rest of your team; it's just you and your computer.
3. The more people there are, the less you're going to remember/know people. I'm not a very social person, but I would like to at least remember the names of the people I work with (It's especially hard when everyone you work with has an accent you can barely understand).
4. I had to wear business casual clothes. Now this was more because I was at HQ than it being a large company, but still, I don't like having to wear business...anything.
5. In the three months I was there, I hardly did anything. Now this might not be the standard, but since I was on a contract-to-hire, they had to train me; test me out. I read training materials, manuals, whatever random things I could get my hands on, and did some IT security quizzes. I read stuff until I was bored out of my mind. I would ask now and again if there was anything, anything that they wanted me to do. Once in a while they gave me some menial things to do, but usually they had nothing. Many times I found myself spinning around in my chair. Whenever people asked me what I did at my job, I could only say "I dunno."
After my three months I was told they wouldn't be hiring me. I was a bit disappointed; I mean, hey, it was my first real job, and I didn't want to look for another one. But not long afterwards I was hired by The Library Corporation (Well, CARL, more specifically: a company previously bought by The Learning Company) on a six month contract-to-hire.
1. From day one I had a computer, chair, phone, and full admin privileges and Internet access. I was told what I needed in order to do my work and was set up in one day.
2. No cubicles (For development teams, anyways). My entire team can be seen at once, and all I have to do is speak if I want to talk to any of them.
3. Only about thirty people work in the entire office. I know about two thirds of their names (The other third I rarely have contact with), and while I still know very little about their personal lives, I've at least been able to learn that they're good people to work with.
4. I can wear whatever I want (Within reason, of course)! For someone who regards comfort far above style, this is a definite plus.
5. Within the first three days, I accomplished more than the three months I spent at DISH. They didn't give me pointless training courses that I'd later forget, they just handed me my assignments and I went to work. At TLC we follow a version of the kanban process management, a type of agile programming (I don't even know if DISH had a process management. Never knew of it, at least). In short, I get more work done, more faster (I know that's not proper grammar).
(As of writing this, I am still on my contract, but I'm 92% sure they'll be hiring me)
Again, this has only been MY experience, but if you're asking my opinion, then I'll tell you that going to work for a smaller company is better, at least for someone just starting their career.
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